Tag Archives: grace

A Tale of Two Strip Clubs…

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I have been in a total of two strip clubs in my lifetime, both for work; not as a dancer, but as a reporter wanting to do a story.

One club that ultimately was willing to participate in the story had me stop in on a Thursday night, during operating hours. When I finally gathered enough courage to walk in, I took note of what I saw as I waited on the young women who would be speaking with me. Most of the club was dark, with neons and spotlights highlighting the parts of the room they wanted visitors to focus on – the bar and the dancers. Loud music, a party kind of feel. Kind of what I expected.

I was able to get the story and talk to two sweet girls who I am hoping by now really were able to get their education from Ashland Community College and begin a new career.

The other club I had stopped in was a different scenario altogether. It was a small, lesser-known club on Route 60, and I stopped by during lunchtime to see if any of the dancers would be willing to share their story. Lunchtime isn’t a busy shift for exotic dancers so the only person there when I walked in was a cleaning lady. Turns out, she and the owner both assumed I was from the health department (not relevant to this story, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it – was it that I and my grey turtleneck sweater gave off a sense of purity that would clearly say I wasn’t there to do anything worldly, or was it that I gave an overall feel of a health inspector rather than a dancer? For some reason I felt slightly insulted…)

No dancers were there at the time, so I talked with the cleaning person for a few minutes, and left my business card, but I also gave a quick look around the room with the lights on. No music, just some wooden tables scattered around the room, with chairs haphazardly placed as if they themselves were in a game of freeze tag and were paused in precarious positions. A tiny stage. Floors sticky with spilled alcohol from the night before. It looked old, and cheap. Nothing fun or classy about it.

Things sure look different with the lights on.

I was thinking about how Satan can use all his trickery, making sin look so beautiful and cool and fun, and then what we are left with is the music-off, lights-on version, the real version. The one that shows the damage and the grossness and the emptiness. I have been there.

Satan sees what we are longing for, and presents us with a fraud, something that seems almost like what we are looking for, and in the dark, amid the spotlights and the loud music, you think you might have found it. But eventually the lights come on. Whatever it was that seemed like the answer is now revealed for what it truly is, and we are left with guilt and shame.

We are looking for our answers in the wrong places. We want to find fulfillment and purpose and meaning in another person, or in our job or in our money. But none of that is where it is. All of those things can only be found in God. He is where we are fulfilled, where we find our purpose, where our lives have meaning.

It’s important to keep your eyes on Him, so you aren’t tricked into searching for those things somewhere else.

In the Bible, in 2 Kings, chapter 6, starting at verse 8, the prophet Elisha is passing along messages from God, warning the King when he is about to be attacked by the Arameans. This ticks the king off royally (see what I did there? J ) and he says he is going to capture Elisha. The Arameans surrounded the city where Elisha was staying during the night. When his servant woke up in the morning and saw them all, he freaked out a little, but Elisha was completely chill. He could see what the servant could not. So He prayed to God, asking Him to let the servant see what he saw.

“And Elisha prayed, ‘Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.’ Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” 2 Kings 6:17

What was really there was an army of God, ready to protect Elisha, and Elisha wanted his servant to see it.

I have certainly been unable, and I have had people I love unable, to see things for what they are. And while the situations are kind of opposite, my prayer is the same as Elisha, I have prayed for their eyes to be opened. To see things as they really are. If only they could see what the sin will look like with the lights on, if they could see Satan as the mastermind behind it, they would run for their lives. But in the dark, fixated on what we think we need, we are tricked. Snookered. Lured in and left with emptiness.

If you have seen this firsthand, and fell for it, as most of us have, I pray that you will find healing and redemption in God. He is really good at what He does. He has done it for me.

If you have people in your life that you see headed that direction, pray hard for their eyes to be opened. The God of Elisha is still the same God today.

#2K617

The beauty of scratches and scuffs

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Watching him sleep, with his hand relaxed on the pillowcase, I see the ring. Almost 17 years ago, that ring was picked out and purchased at Sam’s Club, of all places. We were young, barely in our 20s, with no idea of what our futures would look like. But we loved each other, and he asked, and I said yes.

My first memory of loving him was in first grade. The snow was pouring down that day, and as our 45-minute van ride to school progressed, no other kids from our class were showing up at their pick-up stops. Just maybe, I began to hope, no one else will show up and we would be the only two in class with no one taking his attention away from me.

It happened. For that day, it was just the two of us, working puzzles together with our teacher. I had never seen anyone work a puzzle as fast as him. Just one more thing I added to the list of what I loved about him.

Fast-forward through the next 14 years, after happiness, break-ups, tears, I’m sorrys, and I love yous, I was walking down the orange carpet of my church in my much-too-poofy-for-my-short-self dress to say I do for now and forever.

Since that day, that simple ring on his finger has been with us through some better, and through some worse. And it’s still there.

That ring was on his hand as we signed papers to buy our home, the home we still live in today.

That ring was on his hand as we relaxed in Cancun, and as we came back home and took a pregnancy test, finding out we were going to have a baby. That ring was there as he was holding my hand through the pain of labor, and then as he held our son for the first time.

The ring was on his hand as we waited happily in the exam room getting an ultrasound done of our next pregnancy, and as he held my hand when the tech said she wasn’t able to find a heartbeat.

The ring was on his hand as he let me cry over an awful paint job with some fancy new denim technique I had tried in Noah’s new room to make space for a nursery we would no longer need.

That ring was on his hand as he taught Noah to ride a bike without training wheels, through Noah’s tears and frustrations. But Noah mastered it, just as he knew he would.

The ring was on his hand as I nearly ended our marriage. The hardest and darkest days, when he could have easily left, and had every right to. But he never took his ring off, and that ring was on his hand as he said he wasn’t giving up on us.

The ring was on his hand as I cried tears asking for his forgiveness over tortilla soup at Max & Erma’s.

That ring was on his hand through job changes, the deaths of his father and of my mother, school plays, soccer games, date nights, vacations, home improvements, prayers at the altar and at bedtime with our boy.

These 17 years have seen some better and some worse. The ring, though warped, scratched and scuffed, represents every moment since the day we said I do, and all the moments we still have left. It is beautiful.

Our story, with it’s own scratches and scuffs, is even more beautiful. It’s ours and even with it’s imperfections, it tells so much. Rather than bringing guilt and shame, the scratches and scuffs of our story remind me of love, forgiveness, healing, restoration, grace.

And what a beautiful picture of the love of God, who transforms all of our stories in the same way. My heavenly Father offers me that love, forgiveness, healing, restoration, and grace, sweetly handing it to me when I deserve it least.

If you have failed our Father, please know He loves you still, and He’s waiting for you to come back to Him. He doesn’t offer guilt, but heaping measures of grace instead. Please don’t wait any longer. Run to Him. You won’t regret it.

“…I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (NIV)
– Jeremiah 31:3

Thanks, babe, for being such a good example of the grace-giving love of Jesus.

8/15/2014

Haymitch, Phil Robertson, and a gentle reminder

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“This is my command: Love each other. If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” – John 15:17-18

I LOVE the Hunger Games. Love the books, love the movies. Seriously. In case you didn’t get to read or watch, or had no desire to, here’s the general gist. What’s left of America in the future is divided into districts and is ruled by the Capital district and President Snow. The Capital has all the wealth and power, while the remaining districts have few freedoms and little money.

The rules enforced by the Capital include a fight to the death between 24 teenagers randomly picked from the 12 districts. Only one can live.

The story’s hero, Katniss, is forced to go into the games a second time in the sequel, Catching Fire, to fight for her life again. Her mentor Haymitch reminds her as she enters the arena, “Remember who the real enemy is.” 

Haymitch wanted her to remember the enemies were not the other 23 unlucky kids trying to kill her; it was the Capital officials and President Snow – the ones responsible for all of it.

I couldn’t help but think of the wisdom in that. The Bible says something very similar in Ephesians 6:12.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Satan can use just about anything to distract people from their fight against him and sick them on each other. I’ve seen some of it today.

Hearing about Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson and the attention he is getting from his words reminded me of how easy it is for us to forget who the enemy of God and Christians is. Christians might think the enemy is the people who don’t know Jesus, or maybe it’s the media, or a Merry-Christmasless chain store, but it isn’t. Our real enemy is Satan.

Satan can get us so focused on a particular sin, topic or issue, and what might start out as sticking up for the rights of Christians can end up leaving us a hateful, bitter bunch failing to show the love of Christ to those who need it right where they are.

I’m not saying that if something is a sin, you should pretend that it is okay. But doesn’t God look at all sin equally? In the GQ article, Phil paraphrased the list of some sins from I Corinthians, where homosexual practice is right alongside the sexually immoral, idolatry, adultery, the thieves, the greedy, the drunk, slanderers and swindlers. I’ve been guilty of more on this list than I would care to mention.

When Christians make fighting against one sin or another their platform, it takes away from our first duty and what should be our biggest delight – to love God and love others.

Back to that passage in I Corinthians though, chapter 6 verse 11 says something beautiful about a group of people like all of us who at one time were dabbling in that list of sins I mentioned above…

“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 

There isn’t one single sin that God’s grace can’t cover. Not one. I am beyond grateful for this!

Standing up for what you believe in isn’t wrong. Send A&E an email if you want, and proudly wear your Duck Dynasty t-shirt (I think the show is adorable and really hope it continues with Phil present – BTW, Jase is my favorite). But please be careful not to make it an “us against them” fight.

It’s us against Satan, and unless we are showing the love of Jesus everywhere we go, he is winning.

 

12/19/2013